You might not be worrying; you might be grieving.

You might not be worrying; you might be grieving?

I have been reading about grief and some of the things that cause people to grieve. We can grieve the loss of course of a loved one but what are we really grieving? The loss of what might have been, the phone calls, the advice, the time we could spend together, the wisdom we could have learned. Understanding this we can understand that we can also grieve losing other things, friendship, a job, a dream, or a relationship with our family. The loss of these things can cause us to go through the grieving process.   Summed up in the grieving process of 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. 

I won't spend much time here, but I will point out that the grieving process isn't a 1-5 method. Most people jump around in these stages. It isn't clear cut and perfect. It is also good to remember people are different. 

How does this tie into worry? 

Glad you asked. Worry is giving space in our minds to dwell on our difficulties and troubles. This isn't trying to work through the thing but just gnawing on it. Worry and anxiety are unhealthy and according to the Bible sin.

No one would call grieving sin. We see grieving demonstrated in the Bible. Paul when comforting the Christians about the death of other believers in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, he doesn't tell them not to grieve, but not to grieve as those who have no hope. Grieving is part of the human experience. 

If someone came up to a grieving mother who lost her child and told her to "get over it" or to quit sinning by crying about this deserves... (I won't say what I think they deserve as promoting violence is rarely good).  They are absolutely wrong! Some would call this person heartless.

Yet, if a child's mother loses a child to a rebellion or through a broken relationship, often that person is told to trust God and quit worrying. I will admit some people do turn this problem into a time of worry, but I am considering we need to take a different approach. Perhaps instead of beating them up because they are worrying, we should consider if the person might actually be grieving? 

Anyone who has lost a relationship with a child knows it can be as if they had died. Some people have told me it would have been easier if they had died than what they went or what they are going through. If you don't know what that feels like be glad but it's true. There are things worse than losing someone to death and just like in death you grieve. 

I think some people aren't really worried, they are grieving. They are also carrying guilt because they believe they are sinning when actually they are just being human.