"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

First, some background information,  I thought my talk later on Tuesday aggravated my trigeminal neuralgia, but it seems the problem was a growing abscess in one of my molars. After almost a week in absolute agony, the infection moved into my neck, causing it to look swollen on Saturday. I went to the ER, then transferred to a Methodist in Indianapolis, an hour away, where this morning, at 4 am, I had the abscess drained. I'm recovering from oral surgery, and then I will have to have the tooth removed, also painfully. To make things more challenging, I have a severe sore throat and am having issues swallowing due to the other pain.

This passage in Psalm 22 and then from the cross, is somewhat controversial. Some see it as a declaration that the Messianic Psalm refers to him. Others see this as Christ's humanity calling out to God, " Why? " I'm not always going with those, but see this as both.  Now, unfortunately, I have the personal experience to understand it. Before Saturday, I was in my room and crying out to God, " Have mercy. God have mercy." I did this through a mouth I could barely open for I don't know how long. The pain caused me to shake as I sat on the edge of my bed, nearly weeping. As I was crying out, the thought entered my mind would you do anything for this to stop? I said yes, but then I remembered my own preaching; those are annoying sometimes, that at times our suffering is for a greater purpose. Would I have done, I thought, anything to feel better? Now I remembered there were reasons in this world I should want to endure. I changed my plea to, "Have mercy, or give me strength to endure."(I have also preached on that boy, my pastor, myself is annoying). The pain didn't magically get better, and as you read, it got even crazier. Even now, I had to pause writing first due to the pain of oral surgery and then, as I felt the fear of being there. At one point on Saturday, I broke out in a cold sweat, as I had never had one, as the nurse was digging into my hand for the third time to set an IV, and that wasn't the worst, but back to the subject. Once I remembered that there are reasons (those that don't God will work for good, but more on that in another devotion), I still cried out in my heart, "God, where are you?" but at the same time I was calling on the strength to endure in case this was what was needed.

I believe this was Jesus on the cross, both experiencing humanity, yet trusting God. Jesus words touched those who need hope that the story doesn't end on Friday; it's a victory declaration. It is also words that walk with us, not just in our Gethsemane but in those moments we are on our cross. Jesus, the great mystery, who touches us wherever we are.

If I'm dying...

 

What if you knew you would die in a day/month/year, what would you change? 

There is a reason for this question to be asked, but too often it can bring shame and guilt. It should bring hope, but it's hard to let it do that in a world that says you don't do enough. 

So here is my answer.

If I knew I had one year to live, of course, I would change things, and I should. Some responsibilities and issues need to be covered if I'm going to die. However, I should live neither in fear of death nor in denial. I need to plan as if I'm going to live, which includes writing a series of books that will take more than a year to write. I need to live with integrity and love, so if I'm taken from my family today, they will not feel as if I cheated them for some dream in the sky. 

If a 19-year-old is going to die in a year, yes, quit college; if not, stick with it. If you don't think you're going to die, plan and invest, but don't count on them. If you're working all of the time, stop and smell the roses and invest in things that can't be bought. 

Okay, I've ranted long enough. The answer is, am I living today as God would have me, not culture, not peer pressure, nothing but God, and if I am, I'm okay.

Know When To Run

Know when to run

The book of Ecclesiastes says there's a time to build up and a time to tear down. There's a time to stay, and there's a time to leave. There's a time to get away. A lot of times, we think in our own lives that we should be building more, and we should be doing something to add or get more, especially in the church. We always want to grow, and we never want to be taking away. But sometimes there's a time and a place where things change. There's a time to tear apart. There's a time to rend. There's a time to, well, run away.

And when we look in  Jeremiah 45, God has a message to Baruch, Jeremiah's scribe, who is seeing all this stuff that is taking place. The Lord says,  "This is what the Lord says. I will overthrow what I have built and uproot what I have planted throughout the land. Should you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord. But wherever you go, I will let you escape with your life."

God is telling Baruch, "Don't try to hold on to things. Let them go." At this point, Baruch, trying to hold on to things or gather things for himself, would only bring misery because he was going to lose them. And there are times in our lives when we have to be willing to let go. Because if we try to hold on to them, they will bring pain. There's a time when a child grows up, and we have to let go. There's a time when we get older, and we've got to, well, release the keys of the car. There are times we have to let go of something we may like to do because we are no longer capable of it. There may be ministries in the church that at one time were a great work, but now are not. Maybe they were a great work for you to do, but now you are at a point in your life where you're not going to be successful if you continue to do them.

And God may say to you, "It's time to let go." And the problem is, if we keep holding on, when God says let go, we will have pain. There will be agony. And that's why sometimes God says, "Let go." We've got to be willing to make sure and listen. And let go when God says to.

No, don't give up too soon. Don't just throw in the towel when things get hard. But when God truly speaks, it's time to walk away. Then you need to walk away. Or they use the words of Kenny Rogers in The Gambler. "You've got to know when to walk away." Sometimes, "you've got to know when to run."

One thing you always want to run to is God.

Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Author Seth Ring asked in a Facebook post, What book quote do you like and why (Okay, he said it better than that, but you get the idea.) I shared one, but then I remembered the scene from Fellowship of the Ring where Gandalf stands at the Bridge of Khazad-dûm. He stands there facing an opponent he doesn't know he can beat, but he stands firm and gives an ultimatum, "You shall not pass." Gandalf has great power but is facing something that could kill him, but because his friends need to be able to escape, he confronts it. 

I hope that I can have that strength. To do what Paul says in Ephesians, "after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then,..." I want to put on the armor of God, and then if I can't do anything else, stand there and tell the enemy, "You shall not pass." 

Yet, as I think this, perhaps there are days when I have that opportunity but miss it. It's because the monsters are huge or scary; they are just there, and I refuse to oppose them because I'm tired, I'm angry, or I just don't care today. Perhaps the little monsters in my life are the ones I need to be fighting so that I can have the courage to face the really important ones later. Maybe those little aggravations are training opportunities that I'm missing. Perhaps, because I'm not training, God isn't assigning me the missions to face and conquer the big monsters.   

Photo by Dalal on Unsplash

Recommendation for Writers

 The bane of my writing has always been my typing/keyboard speed. My thoughts and imagination run far faster than the words I could type.

I had heard about dictation and had tried it a couple of times with various levels of success, or maybe I should say failure. When I finally came across Seth Ring's YouTube videos and then his dictation course, things finally started to click. The first time I wrote over 10k words in a day, I was amazed. As a part-time author, every minute counts, and dictation is saving me a massive amount of that precious commodity, time, that I can never afford to squander.

I, now, have hope that all, or at least many, of the worlds I have imagined can finally be shared with others.

I do want to warn you. Seth's program isn't easy. This isn’t a quick-fix program; it’s more like a gym membership with a ruthless but caring coach. It requires deliberate practice, but if you're willing to put in the work, it will make a difference in the amount of work you can produce. It will help you. It is worth it.

--C. S. Areson, Christian author and fiction writer.

https://bookscribe.thrivecart.com/dictation-fiction-writing/

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash