Forgiveness: Truths and Lies

 I hope to go into more detail later but for today I wanted to highlight some of the truths and lies we often hear about forgiveness. You can disagree with me but please consider them. Some of these truths will free you, some of them may cause you to do some work, but ultimately what I pray is that God will use these to help you grow in him.

YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE.

LIE. You do not have to forgive. You don't have to eat either but if you go without eating too long you will die. Matthew 6:14-15

GOD CAN HELP ME FORGIVE.

TRUTH. James said that if we need wisdom we can ask of God and he will give it. You need help forgiving God will help you (He did me). James 1:5

FORGIVENESS MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE RECONCILED.

LIE. (kind of) God wants all men reconciled to himself and one another, but because of the hardness of men's hearts, it won't always happen. I forgave the nurse who I believed murdered my grandmother, but I wasn't going to ask him to take care of my mom. Sometimes separation in this life is the right path. Genesis 31:49, Matthew 19:18

FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT YOU, NOT THE OTHER PERSON

TRUTH: Though Jesus did say that if our brother has ought against us we should work it out, most of the rest of the scriptures tie forgiveness to ourselves and to our relationship with God. Jesus made forgiving others part of our responsibility to stay in right relationship with God. Matthew 6:14-15 Observation and science have now shown that holding on to unforgiveness is unhealthy mentally, physically, and I would add for society. Proof of the last one is seen by the genocide that has happened around the world, all rooted in hate and unforgiveness.

Here is the biggest one.

YOU HAVE TO FORGET 

LIE. The scriptures say that our sins are thrown in God's sea (Micah 7:19) but nowhere do we see God unable to remember what has happened. Yes, our sins are forgiven not to be held against us but the miracle of God is he can remember the actions and not have the sin be held against us. I might argue that if you don't remember there isn't anything to forgive (the exception is repressed memories that cause trauma). The miracle of the Christian life is we can forgive and treat people justly. Sometimes that means holding people accountable, sending them to jail, or separating from them but now instead of being done out of personal vengeance it is done because it is right (1 Corinthians 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:20). There is a lot more to be said on this part of forgiveness but I'm going to pause today.