Don't ask for forgiveness, apologize.

I'm sorry!

 I was reading The Grief Recovery Handbook by James and Friedman and came across a section on forgiveness(pg 139-140).

Their words caused me to think again about something that has bothered me for a long time---Someone coming and asking that you forgive them.

They make the point that if you have done something wrong, that you need to do something about it not the other person. They say that you should apologize not ask for forgiveness.

They are correct.

The problem is that what is usually being asked for is not forgiveness but a "get out of jail free" card. The person wants the other to say they will not hold whatever it was against them.

The scriptures say not to ask for forgiveness but to be reconciled to your brother (Matthew 5:24).

What are you really saying when you ask for forgiveness?

Would you(not me) forgive(since you are holding this sinful attitude) me(the great person trying to make everything right)?


Think about it...and just apologize.