Keeping strong in easy times.

Consider the promises.

 I'm taking a break from forgiveness this week and look instead at the promises of God. You know the ones: Destruction is coming, people will hate you, you will be lied about, the enemies will be those of your own home...

I bet those weren't the promise you were hoping I would look at. I don't like them either. I want the ones which promise me rainbows and cupcakes (healthy ones but still have all the taste of sugar). There are both types of promises in the Bible, but for the follower of Christ no so much. The New Testament rarely gives us promises of an easy earthly life. 

This doesn't mean we won't get an easy life on occasion, but if our spiritual life is built on easy living then we aren't where God wants us. If we are going to be all God wants us to be we have to be willing to follow Him even if things aren't easy. 

The good news is that God does promise a reward far greater than our suffering so it will be worth it. 

For some of us, we may need to spend more time doing things that aren't pleasant: working in a soup kitchen, volunteering with those who need help, etc. 

Why might you ask? 

Because in doing these things we are reminded of the blessings we do have, and it keeps us spiritually strong when tough times come. 

Think about it.

Pride and Forgiveness

 Last week I posed the question about the possibility that could pride keeping me from forgiving. So what do you think? Can pride keep you or me from forgiving others?

I believe it can. 

When we are filled with sinful pride (this is not self-confidence or feeling good about doing well) and think our ideas, person, or group are more important than God, it can interfere with forgiveness. The reason is we consider our "rights" of greater importance than God. We have in a way put ourselves into the position of god in our life. The "right" to hold on to anger and bitterness (unforgiveness) is more important to us than God and His commands.  

This of course is self-destructive as a host of research has shown, but it doesn't matter if our pride has moved us into the god position in our life. 

This is why I believe pride can keep us from forgiving. 

Are there people filled with pride who do forgive? 

Yes, I'm sure there are (I haven't meet any). They are forgiving not because it is right before God but because they have found letting go is better for them. 

Personally, I think trying to keep pride out of our lives makes everything better and when it comes to  forgiveness, it makes it easier.  

Who Me?

Maybe? NO!

After the Webinar on forgiveness, I was asked to speak on forgiveness to a group of people in an area of the world that has seen a lot of upheaval and violence. I can't help but think, "Who am I to speak to these people?"

Yes, my experience was bad and the person committing it was committing an evil act but nothing like many these people are working with. However, the truth of forgiveness isn't based on the crime of the offended. I have said and believe that there are acts of betrayal that feel far worse than murder, so maybe I can relate and they can relate to me. 

At the end of the day, all I can do is be available. People who want to hear will, those who don't will find an excuse not to. If I consider people dismissed Holocaust survivor Eva Kor's call for forgiveness then no matter what I experience, or didn't, will not matter. It is after all a personal choice, I can only point the way, and I will.  

This choice to speak, however, I hope never takes away the humility I should feel when I'm called to speak to those who have suffered much. I have to remember, if I let pride in, I might let unforgiveness back in as well. That is a subject for another post. 

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash 

Forgiveness Webinar (recording)

 Sunday School & Discipleship Ministries International

The Discipleship Place· Upcoming Webinar Learn more and watch the video replay at Impossible to Forgive Webinar

I was excited to share my testimony this week and share how God can help us forgive what feels impossible to forgive. 

Do you want them to have power over you?

 I created this image a while back and was reminded of it today. We often forget that when we don't forgive other people, we give them power in our lives. They are with us all of the time. They influence our actions, our emotions, and direct our decisions. The person who hurt us is now controlling us. Yes, they have done wrong, maybe even criminal things but now we are giving them more power. It isn't right and it isn't good. Common sense and science say this is bad for us and very destructive, but people do it all the time. I know I have.

The solution is to forgive. We have to let go. This isn't saying there aren't consequences or even broken relationships, but it does mean we let go of the anger that wants to control us. What I have found too, is that once you forgive you can deal with the problem more clearly.

There is a lot more that can be said here but this is just a blog and hopefully, an inspiration to help you learn and do more.  

The Lord is Our Refuge, which we forget about.

 The story of a big companies executive buying a vacation home and never using it is nearly a proverb. They have a retreat, a place to go to, and then rarely use it. How could such a thing happen? The answer is they are too busy. Taking time to rest isn't high on their priorities. Besides, what would the board of directors say if he actually took his six weeks of vacation and wasn't available?  Forget the board of directors, what would you think?

I'm going to make an observation, we don't make heroes of those who take a lot of time off. Yet we see God instructing people to take one day off a week doing nothing. We see loads of special holidays where celebrating and resting were encouraged. He also told them to rest the land for one year out of seven, for farmers that meant a lot of time off.  Jesus often, and I mean a lot, took his disciples away from the crowds to rest. Yet, a pastor taking weeks away during the year and being unavailable at least one day a week would be considered unacceptable. 

Over and over in the Psalms and throughout the Bible the Lord is called our refuge or high tower. A refuge is not a place to attack from, it is a place of defense. it is a place of safety. We sing about God being our refuge and yet rarely do we go to him and rest. Let's be honest and say if we see someone resting a lot we call them lazy rather than faithful. 

Understand I'm not encouraging people to sit back and doing nothing. I do think we work and rest as if what is happening in the world or in our churches depends on us more than God. Reflect on this, I know I am.

Don't ask for forgiveness, apologize.

I'm sorry!

 I was reading The Grief Recovery Handbook by James and Friedman and came across a section on forgiveness(pg 139-140).

Their words caused me to think again about something that has bothered me for a long time---Someone coming and asking that you forgive them.

They make the point that if you have done something wrong, that you need to do something about it not the other person. They say that you should apologize not ask for forgiveness.

They are correct.

The problem is that what is usually being asked for is not forgiveness but a "get out of jail free" card. The person wants the other to say they will not hold whatever it was against them.

The scriptures say not to ask for forgiveness but to be reconciled to your brother (Matthew 5:24).

What are you really saying when you ask for forgiveness?

Would you(not me) forgive(since you are holding this sinful attitude) me(the great person trying to make everything right)?


Think about it...and just apologize.