Monday, April 27, 2015

Silence is preferred (someone has died so just BE QUIET!)

Silence is preferred

For most of us there is a time when we really like silence. I know I do, but that that is part of my personality.

However, I was reminded this week that there is another time when silence is preferred and that is when someone has lost a loved one. 

People have all kind of "nice" things they think about saying which normally just make everything worse. 

"God needed another angel in heaven." (Besides making God seem cruel its absolutely untrue.)

"You will meet someone else." (Oh so the person who died doesn't matter?) 

"Everything will be fine."  (They may survive, but everything is going to be different. Show some compassion and be quiet!)

I could go on but I trust that you see the point. Even statements which are true do not feel loving, and rarely help (I would say never but there may have one time in the history of the world). 

I would remind people of Biblical advice:

"Weep with those who weep" (Paul doesn't suggest trying to cheer them up, just be quiet and weep).

If you want to help a friend in a tough time maybe what they need is more silence, more tears, and no advice.