Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Are you willing?



 When I went to God about forgiving I have to admit, I didn't really want to forgive. I'm so glad at that time I couldn't google "Do I have to forgive" as I could today. Today there are lots of otherwise solid Bible teachers that teach you do not have to forgive. Their arguments sound solid but they miss the point, God commanded us to in both the Lord's Prayer and Jesus' own example on the cross. I won't spend more time on that today. I want to look are our willingness.

The question which came to my mind was, "Are you willing to forgive?" I wanted to argue I couldn't whether I wanted to or not. 

This wasn't the question. 

The question was was I willing? Did I want this person to suffer forever in hell? 

The answer was YES I did (I know not very spiritual is it).

I knew that was the wrong answer so I told God I would be willing but I didn't know how and I definitely didn't feel like it.

This willingness is all God needed. 

He didn't need me to feel love, to have a desire, or to be in the right place mentally. God just needed me to be willing. 

It was like the man who Jesus said all things are possible to those who believe. The man replied, "I believe, help my unbelief." For me it was I am willing, help my unwillingness. 

He did and he will for you too. 


Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Monday, June 28, 2021

Forgiveness: Truths and Lies

 I hope to go into more detail later but for today I wanted to highlight some of the truths and lies we often hear about forgiveness. You can disagree with me but please consider them. Some of these truths will free you, some of them may cause you to do some work, but ultimately what I pray is that God will use these to help you grow in him.

YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE.

LIE. You do not have to forgive. You don't have to eat either but if you go without eating too long you will die. Matthew 6:14-15

GOD CAN HELP ME FORGIVE.

TRUTH. James said that if we need wisdom we can ask of God and he will give it. You need help forgiving God will help you (He did me). James 1:5

FORGIVENESS MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE RECONCILED.

LIE. (kind of) God wants all men reconciled to himself and one another, but because of the hardness of men's hearts, it won't always happen. I forgave the nurse who I believed murdered my grandmother, but I wasn't going to ask him to take care of my mom. Sometimes separation in this life is the right path. Genesis 31:49, Matthew 19:18

FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT YOUNOT THE OTHER PERSON

TRUTH: Though Jesus did say that if our brother has ought against us we should work it out, most of the rest of the scriptures tie forgiveness to ourselves and to our relationship with God. Jesus made forgiving others part of our responsibility to stay in right relationship with God. Matthew 6:14-15 Observation and science have now shown that holding on to unforgiveness is unhealthy mentally, physically, and I would add for society. Proof of the last one is seen by the genocide that has happened around the world, all rooted in hate and unforgiveness.

Here is the biggest one.

YOU HAVE TO FORGET 

LIE. The scriptures say that our sins are thrown in God's sea (Micah 7:19) but nowhere do we see God unable to remember what has happened. Yes, our sins are forgiven not to be held against us but the miracle of God is he can remember the actions and not have the sin be held against us. I might argue that if you don't remember there isn't anything to forgive (the exception is repressed memories that cause trauma). The miracle of the Christian life is we can forgive and treat people justly. Sometimes that means holding people accountable, sending them to jail, or separating from them but now instead of being done out of personal vengeance it is done because it is right (1 Corinthians 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:20). There is a lot more to be said on this part of forgiveness but I'm going to pause today. 

Friday, June 25, 2021

My Journey in Forgiveness past 1 (It isn't easy)

 

“Ouch” I yell as I drew back because of the injury that my little girl accidentally caused to the side of my face.

 She turned back toward me and the joy she was feeling at the game she was playing left her. Tears filled her eyes, and a frown filled her face as she whimpered out, “Daddy, Daddy, I’m sorry!” and then the tears began to flow as she repeated, “I’m so sorry, Daddy. Daddy, I’m so sorry.”

 Now the pain that I felt is not near as bad as I opened my arms and my little girl fell into my lap and weeps. She begged for forgiveness, and I told her it was okay.

 After a while, her joy was back, and we move on.

 OH, (sigh) if forgiveness was always that easy, but it isn’t.

 What makes forgiveness hard is, most of the time, it is not an accident that needs forgiving. Yes, sometimes it is an accident, but that we will discuss that later. How do we forgive those people who do not repent or worse rejoice in their actions?

 I grew up in the church and always knew that we were supposed to forgive. I usually never had many problems. Then again what usually happened did not radically affect me. I became a minister and had to deal with all kinds of problems and people with issues some of which were directed at me, still no problems forgiving. Everything changed when I received the call from a family member who told me that my grandmother's death was suspicious and that the prosecutor said she was the victim of a serial killer.

 I was shaken to the core. This was not hurt feelings or damaged property this was my grandmother, and everything was different. If you have not lost someone to a crime, then trust me it is different. I will discuss levels of pain and hurt in a different post. For those of you that feel you lost more than me, I will not diminish your pain by saying it was equal to mine. What I want you to understand is that for the first time, I did not want to forgive somebody, I wanted revenge.

 Here I was a minister, a Bible teacher, a follower of Jesus who forgave more than I will ever have to, and I did not want to forgive.

 Understand, I knew that I needed to. I knew the words of Jesus that said that if I refused to forgive, I would not be forgiven, but I also knew I could not do it.

 I struggled with the thought of killing the person myself or at least volunteering to be the person to pull the switch for him to be electrocuted (I had forgotten that lethal injection was being used). I knew that this was wrong, and I also knew that I did not want to spend time in jail for doing it.

 What could I do? I prayed and asked for help. I admitted to God that I could not forgive this man and I needed God’s help. This is where my journey to learn about forgiveness truly began. 

I will share more next week but let me tell you this if you believe that you can just whistle and easily say, “I forgive and will forget it ever happened” don’t read this blog. Why? Because you don’t live in my world and personally, I’m jealous, because life was easier when forgiveness was easy.

 

What I want you to take away from this post is first, you don't have to feel like a failure because forgiveness isn't easy. The second is God will help you even when it is impossible.

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Impossible to forgive?

 


More than 150 people murdered, by some estimations. After the investigation was completed, the prosecutor chose only a few of the cases the strongest to take to trial. After much of the most convincing evidence was thrown out by the judge, the “angel of death” was convicted.
My own grandmother was among those victims whose cases, though investigated, never went to trial. Her murder is still alleged. Justice and closure never came through an earthly court of law.
I wish that was the worst thing that ever happened but like many of you, pain doesn’t come from only one source. Later, a very close family member was accused of misconduct. For various reasons, that never went to trial. My personal investigation found far more evidence than I ever wanted to know. Nothing could be reported to the authorities, for various reasons. These crimes caused their own type of damage and pain deeper than that caused by the murder of my grandmother.
The pain and suffering I faced were great, but due to possible legal ramifications the names in this book have been changed and details will be left out. Naming them will not change anything, nor will they change the truths taught in these pages.
It may be that there have been crimes committed against you, which also may never see an earthly judge, but that doesn’t change your struggle. For you especially, I pray that my experiences and my studies will help you find peace in your soul in a world that too often fills filled with pain, suffering, and injustice.
By changing names both the innocent and the “alleged” will be protected. My name will not be changed. I was not innocent. My sins are obvious though all too human: hate, bitterness, and unforgiveness. Through God’s grace, they have been forgiven and I have found freedom. The freedom you can have and enjoy.  



Charles S Areson

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Hache and the Urchin: a short story


This is an unedited short story who knows where it will go but just wanted to share it





Hache sipped his hot java waiting for inspiration. Then he saw it and began to draw. The face looked dejected and poverty was its lot in life, yet there seemed to be an innocence which this life had not taken away. The boy may have been as young 10 or possibly even as old as 12. He was at that age where it seemed impossible to tell. His clothes were worn but not filthy and there was no smell which sometimes attended those who had no place to bath. Sympathy moved inside of Hache cause his hand to begin drawing the face he now saw.

Sympathy not something new to Hache. He was usually on the receiving end. Times had been hard and when his patron had to leave town or be lynched by the those in the village he owed, Hache was left with his little savings and his art supplies. Even now it was the sympathy of his old friend Daniel who owned the shop he was sitting in which keep a roof over his head. Daniel had told Hache that it wasn’t sympathy that he expected to be reimbursed when he found another patron, but Hache knew better.

Hache did not know if he would call Daniel a friend and certainly not family though it felt like it sometimes. They were as different as night and day, yet Daniel had always been there to look out for him. Hache had done some work for Daniel and there were a few times, but only a few, when the older man and talked if not like father and son, then like an older brother.

Hache finished his first drawing of the boy and was now started another even as his mind turned back to Daniel. Hache knew when this strange relationship started. It was the day Daniel opened this store with his young wife, Daffodil. Hache just a young man not much older than the boy now waiting in line, when Daniel walked across the street to shew Hache away. Hache had been sitting there a couple of hours staring at Daniel and Daffodil. Hache was drawing then just as he was now when Daniel grabbed his arm and pulled him up to send him on his way but stopped halfway through the pull when he saw what he had drawn. The picture was of Daniel and Daffodil looking at each other the way young married couples do.

Hache had given the picture to Daniel and thereafter Hache was allowed to draw in the pastry shop on a table near the back anytime the store was open. That had been years ago and their strange relationship, yes, Hache thought our friendship has always been strong.  

Hache stared again at the young man as he started on his third sketch of the boy. The look of faint hope touched his face as he looked at the remaining pastries behind the glass display. The look quickly left as he looked down to coin he had in his hand.  Hache guessed that the child did not have enough to but a single pastry.   

“What would you like, young man?” Daniel said to the boy as if he were the son of the local banker.

Hache smiled because once it was the scruffy looking child of the local banker, who had taught Daniel to treat every person who came through the door as a proper customer. Hache smiled, today it seemed to be his day to go down memory lane. The child had come in on that day looking worse than this child and Daniel had thrown him out when he asked for a dozen pastries. It was only a few minutes later that the banker walked in with his son and yelled at Daniel for refusing to serve his child. Daffodil defused the situation with her beauty and charm, but Daniel learned his lesson. Since that day Hache had never seen Daniel treat anyone bagger or banker any different. Yes, some took offense that Daniel didn’t treat them better, but Hache thought Daniel’s actions had served his business well. Hache stared to think of the greatest way it had but quickly put it out of his mind, he didn’t want to think of that today.

 “I want to get one for me and my brother,” the urchin said slowly, “but this is all I have.” The child held up the coin which caught the light for just a moment but then seemed nothing more than a small nearly worthless coin.

“I am sorry, young man” Daniel replied in a voice which still held respect, “but I don’t have anything you could purchase for that amount.”

The face of the child quivered as he dropped the hand which held the coin. The child’s face dropped as if to examine his shoes and he stood still for just a moment.

“Thank you” the boy muttered and turned to leave.

Daniel and Hache both watch the boy turn and slowly leave. The store was empty as the lunch rush was over.

“Wait” Hache got up and walked toward Daniel.

Daniel shook his head “On your tab, I assume. You’re too generous with my goods,” yet he picked two of the largest pasties and place them in a bag.

The urchin returned with a smile and graciously took the bag.

“I can give you this,” Holding the coin in the air to Hache.

Hache smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it for now, maybe later.”

The child stuck the coin in his pocket and raced out the door. Hache watched him turn a corner and move off down an alley. Off to meet his brother Hache assumed.

“You’re too sentimental,” Daniel said with a smile. “You do realize those would have probably been your bag tomorrow you know.”

“Speaking of which”

Daniel reached behind him and hand up the bag of day-old pastries that he saved for Hache. He knew Hache well enough to know what was going to happen. “Just because you give away your meal ticket for today, don’t assume I’m going to give you a fresh one.” Hache smiled knowing he wouldn’t but that tomorrow there would be another bag which Daniel would claim it was better to give it to him than to throw it out to the pigs.

Hache grabbed the bag and raced after the young boy. When he reached the alley he heard a voice which sounded almost familiar.

“What chumps. I told you my luck wouldn’t run out. We’ll take their generosity during the day and steal them blind at night just like we did in the last town.” Then there was a laugh which joined the laugh of the person who spoke.   

Hache turned the corner and saw two young men with their back to him beginning to eat. Hache immediately recognized the speaker and was shocked. Hearing the voice now and seeing him from the back Hache didn’t know how he could have thought of this man as anything but the twenty, maybe even thirty years old he was.

The man held up a coin Hache recognized. “Only use it twenty times the old man said, you’ll lose far more on twenty-one.” The two laughed.

Hache walked up behind the men, took the coin, and quickly stepped back.

The two spun around and looked at Hache with undisguised anger.

“You offered this to me, so I’ll take it.” Then he threw the bag of pastries at the pair.

The second man grabbed the bag and wasted no time looking inside. Hache saw now the child-like face of the man/boy but now saw that he was not a young man but a man cursed with dwarfism. How had he missed it before?

Hache had been tricked, his generosity taken advantage of, but that was nothing compared to the plans of these two thieves. As what they want to do sunk deeper into Hache’s mind he grew angry, then a plan blossomed in his mind.

Hache smiled. “Leave town now. You won’t find any more generosity here.” Then he turned and left. There were a group of sketches sitting on the table of the pastry shop that he wanted to show to the local market owners and the constable.   

“Yes, you have lost far more,” Hache said as he flipped the coin in the air and placed it in his pocket.   


Monday, June 21, 2021

Fear

Only a fool has no fear.


 There are so many things in our lives that make wonderful servants and horrible masters. In fact, other than God anything else in our lives makes horrible masters. 

Think about it, love without reason gives freedom for evil to continue (I love you so I won't stop you). Courage without sense gives rise to suicide charges that win no victories. Anger can give strength in a moment but without resolution within causes destruction to our bodies and lived out it can lead to genocide. Fear, which is what started my thoughts on this blog, can give us wisdom not to do something dangerous, but as a master will keep us from doing what will save us. We can't even trust ourselves to be our master because some of the most enduring evil in the world comes when we make ourselves master/king. 

God is the exception because he is always a great master. The exception there is when we are defining what God (or gods) is rather than taking Him as he truly is. 

The key to having a good life is keeping our servants (including our will), servants, and keeping God correctly defined in our hearts. 




Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Monday, June 14, 2021

Facebook and the Spiritually Inept

Disclaimer: I chose the word inept (clumsy, unsuited for) because I liked the sound and catch of it. The truth is that the word doesn't really cover what I am talking about. I would explain more but...

 


 It is to one’s honor to avoid replying on Facebook (strife),

    but every fool is quick to post (quarrel). Proverbs 20:3

(RCV, the Revised Charles Version)

How often are people tempted to respond unwisely, not just on Facebook but on every social media platform? I would say a lot. 

I want to note that when I say unwise I'm covering not just replying in anger, but replying in ways that demean, demoralize, slander, or to people you have no moral authority to correct. Many people call responders like these trolls and there are a lot of them. We would like to say "Not me!" but the truth is most of us who have spent any time on social media have done it. It's no wonder people are so divided. There is no love, only the desire to be right. 

Now that I'm on the subject of posting, what about the things you post or retweet? A picture of the president (not just the current on either) with slander underneath it?. A picture of a celebrity with the words "You don't speak for us?" Or just a comment that Democrats hate God or Republicans are racist? 

We can claim that we are speaking the truth. but let's be honest, we are not speaking in love. We are stirring up people or as the Bible calls it strife. 

What does this proverb say? It is an honor to avoid strife! So it's good not to reply/post, maybe not easy especially about subjects we're passionate about. 

What if we are doing it? Then we are comparable to the fool, the spiritually inept. A more Biblical definition is the spiritual reprobate. One who refuses to see God and is morally bankrupt. 

So who do you want to look like?  


Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

 

Monday, June 7, 2021

Which calling?


Pick your Call?

I am once again amazed at how God works with people. God gives Isaiah a vision, Moses a burning bush, Sampson strength (no verbal call), and the one I just read again today Ezekiel a word to get up and do what I tell you. God feels a little blunt and severe with Ezekiel, I think.

All of them received a call. I have to wonder if some of them wanted someone else's.  I mean Isaiah's was cool but the end was everything was going to be destroyed. Sampson's made him powerful. Moses heard God and spoke to him, there were also all those miracles. Ezekiel's, my least favorite, get up, and if you don't do what I say you're responsible. Let me throw in Jeremiah who couldn't be quiet even when he wanted. 

God gives to each what they need fitting to who they are and to the calling they are asked to complete. I have to wonder if they would have rather had someone else's calling? I will be honest enough to confess I have. 

What about Moses' calling? I think that might be cool. Can I trade mine in for it. Okay, I would have to wait until I'm 80 to start but still? Wait? What was that? Maybe I don't want to wait until I'm 80 to just begin doing something for God.

Jeremiah? I get the picture of Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar unable to keep from doing something he's uncomfortable with, so maybe not.

Sampson? Forget it! I would probably do dumber than he did.

Isaiah? Now that is cool if you ignore the fact that after his ministry there will only be 10% left. SURE? Hey Mr. District Superintedent, I know I started out with a church of 300 but guess what God grew it down to 30 (29 others and me).

Let's go new Testament..., NO! It ended badly for all of them too. 

Perhaps, I should just trust God and let Him pick. 


Photo by Pavan Trikutam on Unsplash