Who Me?

Maybe? NO!

After the Webinar on forgiveness, I was asked to speak on forgiveness to a group of people in an area of the world that has seen a lot of upheaval and violence. I can't help but think, "Who am I to speak to these people?"

Yes, my experience was bad and the person committing it was committing an evil act but nothing like many these people are working with. However, the truth of forgiveness isn't based on the crime of the offended. I have said and believe that there are acts of betrayal that feel far worse than murder, so maybe I can relate and they can relate to me. 

At the end of the day, all I can do is be available. People who want to hear will, those who don't will find an excuse not to. If I consider people dismissed Holocaust survivor Eva Kor's call for forgiveness then no matter what I experience, or didn't, will not matter. It is after all a personal choice, I can only point the way, and I will.  

This choice to speak, however, I hope never takes away the humility I should feel when I'm called to speak to those who have suffered much. I have to remember, if I let pride in, I might let unforgiveness back in as well. That is a subject for another post. 

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash 

Forgiveness Webinar (recording)

 Sunday School & Discipleship Ministries International

The Discipleship Place· Upcoming Webinar Learn more and watch the video replay at Impossible to Forgive Webinar

I was excited to share my testimony this week and share how God can help us forgive what feels impossible to forgive. 

Do you want them to have power over you?

 I created this image a while back and was reminded of it today. We often forget that when we don't forgive other people, we give them power in our lives. They are with us all of the time. They influence our actions, our emotions, and direct our decisions. The person who hurt us is now controlling us. Yes, they have done wrong, maybe even criminal things but now we are giving them more power. It isn't right and it isn't good. Common sense and science say this is bad for us and very destructive, but people do it all the time. I know I have.

The solution is to forgive. We have to let go. This isn't saying there aren't consequences or even broken relationships, but it does mean we let go of the anger that wants to control us. What I have found too, is that once you forgive you can deal with the problem more clearly.

There is a lot more that can be said here but this is just a blog and hopefully, an inspiration to help you learn and do more.  

The Lord is Our Refuge, which we forget about.

 The story of a big companies executive buying a vacation home and never using it is nearly a proverb. They have a retreat, a place to go to, and then rarely use it. How could such a thing happen? The answer is they are too busy. Taking time to rest isn't high on their priorities. Besides, what would the board of directors say if he actually took his six weeks of vacation and wasn't available?  Forget the board of directors, what would you think?

I'm going to make an observation, we don't make heroes of those who take a lot of time off. Yet we see God instructing people to take one day off a week doing nothing. We see loads of special holidays where celebrating and resting were encouraged. He also told them to rest the land for one year out of seven, for farmers that meant a lot of time off.  Jesus often, and I mean a lot, took his disciples away from the crowds to rest. Yet, a pastor taking weeks away during the year and being unavailable at least one day a week would be considered unacceptable. 

Over and over in the Psalms and throughout the Bible the Lord is called our refuge or high tower. A refuge is not a place to attack from, it is a place of defense. it is a place of safety. We sing about God being our refuge and yet rarely do we go to him and rest. Let's be honest and say if we see someone resting a lot we call them lazy rather than faithful. 

Understand I'm not encouraging people to sit back and doing nothing. I do think we work and rest as if what is happening in the world or in our churches depends on us more than God. Reflect on this, I know I am.

Don't ask for forgiveness, apologize.

I'm sorry!

 I was reading The Grief Recovery Handbook by James and Friedman and came across a section on forgiveness(pg 139-140).

Their words caused me to think again about something that has bothered me for a long time---Someone coming and asking that you forgive them.

They make the point that if you have done something wrong, that you need to do something about it not the other person. They say that you should apologize not ask for forgiveness.

They are correct.

The problem is that what is usually being asked for is not forgiveness but a "get out of jail free" card. The person wants the other to say they will not hold whatever it was against them.

The scriptures say not to ask for forgiveness but to be reconciled to your brother (Matthew 5:24).

What are you really saying when you ask for forgiveness?

Would you(not me) forgive(since you are holding this sinful attitude) me(the great person trying to make everything right)?


Think about it...and just apologize.