You
might not be worrying; you might be grieving?
I have been reading about grief and some of the things that cause
people to grieve. We can grieve the loss of course of a loved one but what are
we really grieving? The loss of what might have been, the phone calls, the
advice, the time we could spend together, the wisdom we could have learned.
Understanding this we can understand that we can also grieve losing other
things, friendship, a job, a dream, or a relationship with our family. The loss
of these things can cause us to go through the grieving process.
Summed up in the grieving process of 1. Denial and isolation; 2.
Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance.
I won't spend much time here, but I
will point out that the grieving process isn't a 1-5 method. Most people jump
around in these stages. It isn't clear cut and perfect. It is also good to
remember people are different.
How does this tie into worry?
Glad you asked. Worry is giving
space in our minds to dwell on our difficulties and troubles. This isn't trying
to work through the thing but just gnawing on it. Worry and anxiety are
unhealthy and according to the Bible sin.
No one would call grieving sin. We
see grieving demonstrated in the Bible. Paul when comforting the Christians
about the death of other believers in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, he doesn't tell them
not to grieve, but not to grieve as those who have no hope. Grieving is part of
the human experience.
If someone came up to a grieving
mother who lost her child and told her to "get over it" or to quit
sinning by crying about this deserves... (I won't say what I think they deserve
as promoting violence is rarely good). They are absolutely wrong! Some
would call this person heartless.
Yet, if a child's mother loses a
child to a rebellion or through a broken relationship, often that person is
told to trust God and quit worrying. I will admit some people do turn this
problem into a time of worry, but I am considering we need to take a different
approach. Perhaps instead of beating them up because they are worrying, we should
consider if the person might actually be grieving?
Anyone who has lost a relationship
with a child knows it can be as if they had died. Some people have told me it
would have been easier if they had died than what they went or what they are
going through. If you don't know what that feels like be glad but it's true.
There are things worse than losing someone to death and just like in death you
grieve.
I think some people aren't really
worried, they are grieving. They are also carrying guilt because they believe
they are sinning when actually they are just being human.
