Reflections on Reflections

Okay, I don't know what to call this and to be honest it may sound a little on the egotistical side but really, I'm not trying to be. Anyhow, the other day I was reading my post on Bible Reflections. The work is my unedited and first response or as I have called them reflections to all the chapters in the Bible. However, I read one and was really surprised. Here is what I wrote on a piece of paper at the time.

The things which really get my attention aren't mistakes and the less than stellar theology, grammar, and explanations but the moments of brilliance. Yes, this is egotistical but then perhaps it isn't. When great people of the past did great work often the knew it afterward. They knew it was great. I don't worry too much about ego as I still have plenty of, oops to keep me humble. The thought that I can be brilliant is a relief that my life isn't a waste. It is a hope what I do can make a difference. Yes, the world I live in may be going the way of Isaiah's prophecy but my work may have an impact beyond a generation set for destruction.

Thanks for the Thorns

Paul the apostle talked about having a thorn in his flesh which keep him humble. He needed it because without it he would have by his own admission become proud.

I hope most of you don't need one. I don't want one but I actually have a couple. These aren't recurring sins or anything like that, but they are things which I can't control and God isn't taking away. I hate them. They can be completely debilitating, taking me from confidence to broken in minutes. 

The thing is I am a person who has a good level of self-confidence, but it could turn into pride. I could become the person who says I did it so can you, I don't care what you face. Yet the memories of brokenness and weakness remind me that things though simple to discuss are often rarely easy live. Habits, weakness in body and mind, influences around us, unseen circumstances, and the like make change and confidence difficult.

My thorns remind me of this. I keep telling God, I'm better now. I won't forget and maybe someday I will stay humble and understand the shoes others are walking in, but until then, I will at times deal with the thorns. Perhaps I can, in the meantime, be grateful for the thorns. At least, when I'm not pulling them out of my flesh.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

The train

I wasn't sure how I got here but it was a place of wonder. Well, as much a place a wonder as an old shack could be. It was large, filled with shelves there was a huge white canvas tarp covering the whole structure making it appear from the outside like bedouin's tent. On the shelves held a wide variety of things that I remembered, books, toys, memories of my life. I walked around amazed. I was close to an open door when I spotted it.

The old dirty hard plastic train I played with as a child. I picked it up and like it was yesterday, pulled it back across a nearby table and watched it putter forward about a foot before talking. I smiled like I was three again. It was wonderful. I hadn't seen the thing in years. I could feel the layer of dirt on one side evidence of having been played in the mud. One front wheel was missing as was part of a back one, yet I would glad had let everything else in this cabin go just to keep it.

I questioned myself, there is a lot of stuff in here; books other toys, photos all things that could never be replaced and yet I moved to the doorway and held the toy with a smile on my face and moisture in my eyes. I wouldn't cry over a toy.

I looked out then as dusk covered the land and it was then I realized the place had moved. We had move not just location but through time. I knew where we were. I didn't ask how but I knew. I was in Judea and the Roman guards in the distance seemed upset. If I left now I could find and meet him. I could meet Jesus.

The toy dropped from my hand as I walked then ran from the cabin to the place I just knew Jesus would be. I never questioned how this could be or how I knew I just knew as much as I knew my own name. I knew I had to hurry. I was too late. My opportunity was gone, the soldiers were taking him away.

It was then I realized I didn't have my train, but then it didn't matter for I had the chance to see Jesus.



Photo by Jonatan Volker on Unsplash