When I went to God about forgiving I have to admit, I didn't really want to forgive. I'm so glad at that time I couldn't google "Do I have to forgive" as I could today. Today there are lots of otherwise solid Bible teachers that teach you do not have to forgive. Their arguments sound solid but they miss the point, God commanded us to in both the Lord's Prayer and Jesus' own example on the cross. I won't spend more time on that today. I want to look are our willingness.
The question which came to my mind was, "Are you willing to forgive?" I wanted to argue I couldn't whether I wanted to or not.
This wasn't the question.
The question was was I willing? Did I want this person to suffer forever in hell?
The answer was YES I did (I know not very spiritual is it).
I knew that was the wrong answer so I told God I would be willing but I didn't know how and I definitely didn't feel like it.
This willingness is all God needed.
He didn't need me to feel love, to have a desire, or to be in the right place mentally. God just needed me to be willing.
It was like the man who Jesus said all things are possible to those who believe. The man replied, "I believe, help my unbelief." For me it was I am willing, help my unwillingness.
He did and he will for you too.
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