Some of that could be noble but I know not all of it is. I have to ask myself if I am willing to let God use someone else to help my kids, solve their problems, and be their hero. Yet, I want that, but what if I shouldn't be that person. What if trying to be the hero I would actually be like Hezekiah asking for something that would have horrible consequences. What if my desire would cause me to act on my wisdom rather than wait on God? I don't want to become the villain even if it was mostly innocent. What should I do?
Thinking about it has caused me to add a new prayer, which I hope to pray more often. "God, show me how to love my children like you would and help me be okay with just that." I want my kids to know God loves them and I do too. I want to be available if God wants to use me but I want them in the kingdom more than I want to be the hero. I think, I hope at least, I am even willing to be forgotten by them now so that we could meet together in that kingdom where we will never die.
Thinking about it, maybe that should be my prayer for the world? Now that I think about it I think I have read a prayer like that before. John Wesley wrote it and now I am looking at it again in a new light.
I am no longer my own by yours. Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you, exalted for you or brought low for you. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, you are mine and I am yours. So be it. And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.
Photo by Violeta Pencheva on Unsplash
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